To the Ghost Who Rides My Train

 It was just two days before Christmas

When you caught my eyes

And gave me this weird smile

Before you stepped in front of

My oncoming train.

I screamed,

And I screamed, 

And I screamed,

As I heard the impact

And saw your head briefly bounce

In front of me,

Before the train finally

Sucked you under,

Leaving only your butt

Sticking out.

The rest was a montage

Of passengers trying to comfort me while

Eager to exit the train, 

While pausing to examine your still body,

Of yellow clad firefighters carrying

Blocks of lumber for cribbing,

Of feeling and hearing the creaks of the train

With each bit-by-bit rising 

Off your crumpled and broken body,

Of surrealistically feeling like

Princess Diana, 

Hiding her face from the paparazzi.

Even with all that, you were still alive.

Somebody found your brown wallet,

But I never learned your name.

It was two days before Christmas,

But I was not going to allow you to spoil it. 

This was the choice you made when

You recruited me to serve as your

Involuntary psychopomp.

And it was on Christmas Day

That you got your wish

As you entered the other realm.

No, you did not ruin my Christmas.

I did not let you.

But you still sat at my table

As a silent guest.

I thought I saw your your ghost

Riding my train.

But it wasn’t you,

But some vagrant panhandler hustling dude

Who stole the luggage from 

An out-of-town visitor

On the platform.

It wasn’t you.

You still ride my train, though,

And sometimes you let me

Know you’re there.

Sometimes I still see

Your weird smile

And the two giant steps you took.

Sometimes I still hear the impact.

Sometimes I still feel the train

Rise up with each creaking cribbing block.

I gave you what you wanted.

You now owe me one.

What will you give me?

Setting the Tone for 2022

This morning started like many other mornings that fell on my days off. The only thing that was different was that today was New Year's Day. I was still planning on doing my seven-mile walk (which takes two hours and twenty minutes to complete), but I wanted to do it alone, as I wanted to include a White Stone meditation during the forest trail part of my walk.

I had no idea what I was going to be in for in my walk. All I knew was that I was going to wait until I got to the bridge that crossed Goose Creek to start my White Stone meditation. Until I got there, I was going to enjoy listening to my music and take some photos, like this one of sago palm seed pods.

When I got to Goose Creek, I took this selfie, fired off a snarky message to a snarky coworker, and then turned off my music, and put my phone on "do not disturb.

I then took three [sort of] cleansing breaths, set my intention to receive my word for the year, and proceeded with my walking mediation.

Well...

...sort of.

I don't think I was too successful with the meditating part. My squirrel brain was much too active, jumping from thought to thought. It wanted to explore. And it insisted the I go check out that body of water to the left of the path.

After reining in my attention, I briefly reflected back on my intention to "receive my word for the year." My attention then got snagged on the word receive.

That's when I started arguing with myself:  

• It was too early in my walking meditation to get a word.

• Maybe another word will come to me.

• Don't go into this already attached with the first word that pops into my head.

• It doesn't have that "ping" factor like the word be had for me in 2017.

.........squirrel!.........

• OK, OK, so maybe receive is the word I need for 2022.

• But, dammit! Wait until I'm done with the walking meditation to claim that word. OK?
• 
  

.........squirrel!.........

Anyhow, I wound up realizing that perhaps this word ~ RECEIVE ~ may indeed be the appropriate word for me. Maybe it is time that I learn to actually receive ~ to be open to receiving ~ instead of running on the hamster wheel chasing that daydream feedback loop in my brain. And perhaps it may be useful to explore my relationship with receiving.

Getting back on track, I continued walking.

Next thing I knew, this bright leafy green seahorse caught my eye.

Of course I had to take a photo of it, do a quick editing job in my iPhone, and then fire off that pic to a seahorse-loving friend.

In the meantime, my mind was whispering:

receive.

Continuing with the walking...ahem...mediation, I happened upon this pond.

Ever since I've moved to the Gulf Coast area, I've been very fascinated with Spanish moss. There's plenty of it here, and I find it quite evocative.

I tried to get a closeup of the egret. The iPhone camera can only zoom so far.

Even though it was on the other side of my pond, it was aware of my presence. What it did not realize was that I did not have the means to come after it. 

By the way, that's a useful thought to keep in mind. Whenever we may be afraid of something, or feel threatened, it would be important to ask ourselves just how real that threat actually is. Just like the egret, who thought that I was going to teleport to the other side of the pond and choke the living daylights out of it, are the threats we perceive realistic?

Approaching the end of the trail (where the rest of the trail is closed due to the animal shelter expansion and construction project) I spied this beauty of a tree shelf mushroom. It practically blended in with its host tree.

Here's the underside of the mushroom.

Having turned around and heading back, I saw a clump of Spanish moss on the ground and decided to get a bit silly.

My mind is reminding me:

receive.

As I approach the bridge that crosses Goose Creek, my little green eyes spy this.

That's a crawfish mud hole.

Crawfish season is almost upon us!

Mudbugs! Mudbugs steamed with corn and sausage with a nice spicy blend!

...receive...

I've arrived at the bridge. The walking meditation is done. I turn on my music and take my phone off "do not disturb" mode. It's time to head back to the Emmett Hutto Parkway circle, finish my walk, and head home. After all, the dogs are patiently waiting for their food. And I want to write the word receive on the blank white stone tile I have at home.

But...

...the grass bank alongside Goose Creek looked so inviting!

And I simply had to explore!

So I followed along the riverbank. The bike tire tracks told me that others have been this way before. But given the small lack of wear in the grass and the small amount of litter, it did not seem that this was a popular and much frequented thoroughfare.

Then I came across this. It caused me to stop in my tracks.

I was blown away by the composition!

Next, I climbed up the site drainage system, and this is what I saw.

At this point I was super excited! Finding something new to explore always does this to me, giving me a huge rush.

Climbing down the site drainage, I continued with my exploration, and very soon I came upon this.

It was another manmade structure, just like the site drainage, that combined brilliantly with nature to create an amazing and dynamic composition! And how lucky I was to come upon two such visual treats in such a short span of time!

Next, I continued to follow the riverbank. And I could not get over the natural beauty that was just a few miles from my house!

More manmade stuff ~ this time a fence ~ juxtaposed with nature.

And more concrete...

I was definitely getting into what I was seeing! And I was thinking that this would be a great place to bring Alice so that she could burn off some energy. (I'd love to also bring Kane and Yoda, but they are elderly dogs who no longer have the physical stamina for such a jaunt.)

But I know that Alice would most certainly love it, and Kane and Yoda would have fun sniffing her and trying to figure out where she went.

I saw this pretty lily-like flower along the riverbank. I'm hoping to get an identification on it.

This bird was a little bit too far away for me to get an idea of what it was.

I've reached a part in my exploration where I felt that it was time for me to turn around and start heading back. It was already close to 10:00 AM, and I did not dare delay my getting home.

As I was heading back, I came across a site where someone had done some illegal dumping. Even the trash had an artful and evocative quality.

Next I came across, amidst the rubbish and the overgrowth, what looked like a part of a building foundation. (Or maybe it was something altogether different.)

As always, when in nature (which really is EVERYWHERE and is EVERYTHING), there are reminders of the circle of life.

I continue on my way back...

...until I get back to the paved walking trail, where this paper wasp nest catches my eye.

It's definitely time to be making my way back home and not adding more time and miles to my walk.

I reflected back on my experiences and realized how this walk set the tone for 2022 by the following:

• Maintaining my commitment to my health and fitness by continuing to get my steps in.

• Examining my relationship with receiving.

• Being open to new experiences.

• Staying curious.

• Taking time to explore new things and reveling in that exploration.

So yeah, this walk in the woods was a good thing. And now it was time to hurry home, especially since it started raining...

...and there were still some two to two and half miles left to go.

Fortunately, it was a light rain that did not last very long.

In no time I was back in the boring fancy-schmancy subdivision where all the houses are monotonous ticky-tacky brick boxes.

The all-night-and-into-the-morning revelers who wished me a Happy New Year have disbanded.

I continued.

Just a random photo of some kid's toy car.

Finally, after nearly three hours of walking, I am home.

I am home. 

The dogs and cat have been fed. 

And I committed my word for 2022 to the white stone tile.

Happy New Year, all y'all! Make it meaningful!