Age Is Just a Number - Or Is It?

A little over a week ago, I met my 52nd birthday. It wasn't a particularly eventful day, but that was OK.

It's not that I dread becoming another year older. It's just that when you've seen as many birthdays as I have, they sort of lose their impact after awhile.

I don't feel old, and family and friends say that I don't look my age, despite my greying hair and beginning-to-sag jowls. So why is it then, that I still experience shock when I register that the "old lady" in a photo is me?

At 52 I am still not ready to cash in my chips, nor act my age. Why should I?

Where is it written that once a woman hits "a certain age" she has to cut her hair, dress in tiny floral-print polyesters, and join the bowling league at the senior center?

Hell! My hair will stay long. Jeans, tee shirts, and sandals will remain my preferred wardrobe. I will hang out at my favorite coffee shop where I am no less hip than most of the patrons who are less than half my age.

And I will continue to drive through the streets of Lubbock with windows and sunroof wide open, and the B-52s blasting on my car stereo.

Despite my inner youth, good health, and still sharp mind, I have just one regret about getting older, and that is that others - meaning potential employers - don't see me the same way I see myself.

Age discrimination exists. Sure it's illegal, but companies find their way around that sticky part of the law. The most common excuse that the mature job-seeker encounters is: "We have found someone who is a closer match to what we were looking for."

Why can't potential employers see that even though I may be over 50, I still have the ability to do the job? The years have given me a wide range of experiences and skills that would be valuable in any job. I am a hard worker with a great attendance record. My learning agility enables me to learn anything that I put my mind to.

Let's face it, I have more on the ball than a kid fresh out of college. And I would be an asset to any company lucky enough to have me.

So then, why is it that employers cannot see that? Why can't they look past a certain number? And why do I see younger and less experienced individuals get the job that I was trying for?

My friend Vyda said that her husband Vic used to get calls from headhunters left and right, but that when he reached "a certain age" - which in his case was while he was in his mid-50s - the calls stopped coming. And in order to continue providing a living for their family, Vic and Vyda went into business for themselves.

That pretty much explains also what's been happening to Neil.

Neil NEVER had any difficulty finding work after being laid off. Even in the worst economic times, when laid-off CEOs would find themselves flipping burgers at McDonald's, Neil would not only find a job in a very short time, he would also have several companies competing to hire him. Headhunters would be calling him from all over the country, eager to snatch a highly experienced engineer like him.

So when Neil got laid off last September, I didn't think anything of it. I figured that it would be the same as the other times when he got laid off - that he would post his resume on Monster and that headhunters would start calling him within 24 hours.

I've seen this happen before, so why shouldn't it happen again?

Except this time it didn't happen.

There were hardly any calls. And the one or two headhunters who did call were ineffective in securing employment for Neil.

At first I chalked it up to the nose-diving economy. Perhaps Texas's unemployment situation was starting to catch up with the rest of the nation.

And f0r the longest time, I blamed Neil's inability to generate interest from headhunters and companies on the economy.

It was only a few days ago, when I read Vyda's message, that I realized that perhaps it wasn't just the economy that was responsible for our silent phone. Neil hit that magic number that marked him as an untouchable in the employment caste system.

Damn.

Because my resume has been a patch-work quilt, I hit that magic number much earlier. Nobody wants to give a baby-boomer a chance at starting out in a new career.

And with Neil's unemployment and the health issues that he's facing, I don't know what we're going to do. The many medical debts that we have do not leave us enough money to pay our bills, let alone start a business.

And how can I support our family on my pay, which is 4 to 5 times less than what Neil had been making?

Our future is uncertain, and it's hard not to occasionally feel fearful and hopeless over what the future may bring.

And it's in that state hopelessness and fear that the rest of my life is going to be a massive continuation of our current financial struggle where I regret getting older. I have another good 30 - 40, maybe even 50, years ahead of me. But where is that going to lead if I cannot secure us a sustainable income?

Because of my age and the rampant age discrimination that goes on this youth-centric employment market, I have already lost the potential to craft a career that would enable me to pick up the reins and be able to support my family the way Neil had been doing all these many years.

I don't know what else I can do except to continue keeping my eyes, ears, and mind open, and be like the tiger patiently waiting to pounce on its prey.

And in the meantime, I will continue to refuse to "act my age."