BOLO ~ Dead Presidents

After 4 - 5 days of a soggy, wind-lashing nor'easter, the sun is finally out in full and glorious benediction!

I can hear the loud notes of toe-tapping folk music blasting from my neighbor's boat-repair and custom wood-working shop.

There is plenty of work that needs to be done here; but I would much rather play on the computer. After all, who knows when I will have the time for my next recreational foray into cyberspace?

All of last week, and part of this week, I had been busy ~ working hard at trying to hammer out a business plan for my proposed photo restoration and digital artistry business.

As I had been working on my BP, as well as talking with the nice folks at our local economic development office, I ran into a major reality check ~ a reality check that had sent me into a state of despair and depression.

While I knew that starting any business venture is not for the faint of heart, I still had the optimism of manifesting this dream into a reality.

Enter first major road-block, stage right.

One guess what this road block could be.

Yup! You got it!

It's money.

Money.

Cash.

Dinero.

Skrill.

Dead Presidents.

Moolah.

Bucks.

Benjamins.

You get the idea.

While everybody knows that you need money to make money, you also need money to get money.

And with the financial devastation that our family had recently experienced due to extensive hospitalizations, disability, job loss, etc., money is not something that we have. Not now, at least.

We have already exhausted all of our savings and retirement money (for which we still owe the Feds a good chuck of change after we had to cash out the 401(k).) Right now we are borrowing against Neil's life insurance in order to have money to live off.

It is a miracle that we have been able to keep our house (and our decent credit rating) this long. And for that I am extremely grateful. I simply REFUSE to see leaving this house unless it is through our own choice.

Still, our financial situation is not in my favor when it comes to applying for a small business loan.

Because it can often take a business 3 - 5 years before it starts making money, the borrower needs to provide documentation of sources of income that will enable the family to survive during the time it takes a business to grow.

With Neil's disability pay not even covering the mortgage, let alone other monthly expenses, and the finite amount of time left before we exhaust the life insurance money, lenders will want to run the other way when they see me coming.

What's really ironic is that the idea to start the business in the first place was for us to have an eventual source of income.

For a year I have been unsuccessful in finding new work after having been let go from my last job.

Oh! I have had great interviews. I'm extremely learning-agile. My communication skills are excellent. And I come with a diverse array of talent, skills, and experience.

So what's the problem?

Beats me.

But rather than be put off by the fact that employers may not often know a good thing when they see one, I decided that if no one is going to hire me, then I should hire myself. After all, I don't have to convince myself of my abilities and assets to the company.

Now I have to take these talents, skills, and the intelligence that I have been blessed with and use them to score some dead presidents in order to fire up my business.

I've already put in too much time and effort to accept "No" for an answer.

By hook or by crook, I will be sitting in this very same room next year. The thing that will be different will be that the walls will be painted a serene periwinkle and seafoam green and this room will be filled with all the new toys and gadgets I will need to ply my new trade.

And did I forget to mention that there will a full cash safe in this room as well?